functioning patterns

A good friend of mine is in the process of reassessing her career (options) and shared with me a bit of the analysis involved in this. Some of the help one gets in defining strengths and weaknesses may be futile – but it remains a puzzle how it is possible to realise so little, at times, what our repetitive processes are or how we deal with information in a certain preset way. While she was talking to me today about what she had found out – about creating situations that give her the sense that she is handling things „hands on” (at least this was my interpretation of what I was being told), I took a leap in a completely different direction than she was going into and stumbled upon a behaviour pattern myself. The point of her analysis was pragmatic (in the scientific sense): „This is a functioning pattern for me, how can I use it in finding fulfilling work?” My immediate step was: „This is a functioning pattern that makes you feel good, but it might have unwanted repercussions on people around you.” What I would automatically do if I found a pattern of behaviour that I wasn’t aware of would not be to try to understand why it is in place or to try to put it to any use, but to assume that, if it is uncontrolled, it is a nuisance and consequently attempt to eradicate it. Whereas it might just be an enormous waste of energy to fight oneself at that depth of fabric. Not that I don’t think questioning your own reasons is a good thing… but shouldn’t it be first about what you do want and only then about what you don’t? Shoot, more assumption to question…

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